01. Where did you begin 2011?
We attended a party at our friends P & H’s house. We played games and watched Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve show (with Ryan Seacrest).

02. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Had a son! Purchased a minivan! Made cake pops, haha.

03. What was your status by Valentine’s Day?
Married and happy I think we grilled steak for a little at-home date.

04. Were you in school (anytime this year)?
Nope!

05. How did you earn your money?
I did graphic design work and consulting. This year I left the “job” I’ve had for several years, even though I’d only been working part time. The design work I do doesn’t bring in much money.

06. Did you have to go to the hospital?
Yes, I went to have a baby.

07. Did you have any encounters with the police?
Nope!

08. Where did you go on holidays?
We didn’t go on any real vacations/holidays this year. Tom and I went to Baltimore for our anniversary, but that was about it. As for actual holidays, we hosted Thanksgiving for both of our families…spent Christmas Eve at Tom’s parents’ house…Christmas morning at home…Christmas day at my parents’…Easter at Tom’s sister’s house…Independence Day at the lake…Memorial Day in Baltimore…I can’t really remember any others.

09. What did you purchase that was over $1000?
We purchased a minivan for our expanding family. Definitely over $1000 and well worth it. We bought a new dining room table and chairs, and some dishes and a hutch to redo our dining room. We also bought iPhones. Hmm, I guess we spent a lot of money this year.

10. Did you know anybody who got married?
My husband’s sister, a few days after our son was born. My friend Jen.

11. Did you know anyone that passed away?

12. Did you know anyone who had a baby?
I did! Several of my friends also had babies.

13. Did you move?
Nope!

14. What concerts/shows did you go to?
We went to a Third Day/Tenth Avenue North concert with some friends. I can’t think of any others.

15. Are you registered to vote?
Yes

16. Where do you live now?
Same house I’ve been living in for several years

17. Describe your birthday.
We were camping with my parents and sister (and her husband and daughter). I was 9 months pregnant. The girls woke up when the sun rose, which was way too early, and Tom got up with them so I could keep sleeping. We all went to breakfast at our favorite cafe, and we swam and hung out at the lake for the rest of the day.

18. What’s one thing you thought you’d never do, but did in 2011?
Straightened JJ’s hair, ha! Was the recipient of a surprise baby shower. Did some photoshoots for friends/family. Got a pair of sweatpants.

19. What has been your favorite moment?
I think probably when my son was born. I will never forget that moment! And seeing his face light up every time he looks at me.

20. What’s something you learned about yourself?
The person I am now is not always the person I want to be.

21. Any new additions to your family?
Yes, my son C was born on July 18th.

22. What was your best month?
I think July, because my son was born, and to some extent, I’ve been waiting to have a son for as long as I can remember. Some part of me never though I’d actually get to hold my own son in my arms, and I’ll never forget the moment that he was born. He has completely stolen my heart, and I’m SO thankful that he is in my life.

23. What was your worst month?
July was also my worst month. I was overdue in my pregnancy, which was difficult at the time. My whole life was on hold for a few weeks, and it was hard to wait for an unknown event. The first few weeks after C was born were pretty challenging, too. He cried a lot and I was tired and it was hard. I think I cried a lot, too.

24. What music will you remember 2011 by?
“You Are More” by Tenth Avenue North, “Sing It” by Josh Wilson. Probably the “Psych” theme song, haha.

25. Who has been your best drinking buddy?
Tom and I started drinking a lot more water this year, as we spent several months focusing on our health and eating habits.

26. Made new friends?
Some, and got to know some casual friends better.

27. Lost friends?
I don’t really know. I probably have relationships that I haven’t been investing as much time in this year.

28. Favorite night out?
Tom and I went to Baltimore over our anniversary weekend. We had a fabulous time, even though it was hot as blazes. I was nervous that I was going to go into labor early, but I didn’t. We went to DC and walked around for hours, spent a day at the Inner Harbor, went to Chick-Fil-A, and spent a day shopping. It was just a wonderful weekend.

30. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? Richer

31. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 18th, the day my son was born.

Life feels a little…out of control lately. I don’t know why, exactly. I have wonderful children and a husband that I love very much. But I’ve felt tired and stressed out and overwhelmed about a lot of things. C still isn’t sleeping all night, and I’ve been expecting him to for several weeks now. I go to bed way too late every night because I just want some alone time or time to get some of my graphic design projects done. I can’t get anything done during the day like I used to be able to. But I’m burning the candle out on both ends and just so tired. I feel like I’m the worst version of myself when I’m tired. Everything seems overwhelming, the girls seem irritating, and I just can’t handle it all. When I’m rested, it’s a whole new ballgame, but I’m not. Almost every day I feel like crying at some point. Thank you, sleep deprivation. I’m not the crying type of person normally.

Tom was working overtime during the weekend, so I packed up the kids and spent the night at my parents’ house. Sometimes you just gotta hang out with your parents, you know? And I love my parents. Plus they have this fireplace that keeps their house nice and toasty.

Then Tom and I went to a concert over the weekend with our favorite band, Tenth Avenue North, and another Christian band we like, Third Day. It was nice to go and hang out with some friends and just be us instead of “Mommy” and “Daddy.” The concert was on a college campus, and I felt a little nostalgic walking around there, wistfully remembering what it was like to be a carefree college student. Sometimes I’d like a “do-over” of my college years, just to take advantage of them a little more instead of being a stick-in-the-mud and working so hard all the time. (Did I really need a 3.8 GPA, anyway? Especially as an English major. What did I think I was actually going to do with an English/writing major, anyway?)

But the concert was fun and God used it to remind me how much He loves me. Because He does. No matter what I do or how I feel or how often I fail Him. Plus the lead singer of Third Day came into the audience to sing a few songs, and it happened to be right next to our seats. I guess general admission tickets work out nicely when the band comes to you.

I guess I just keep putting one foot in front of another. God’s mercies are new every morning. The mistakes I made yesterday are completely in the past, and every day is new. There’s always hope…maybe this time I’ll go to bed early; maybe C will sleep all night; maybe I’ll be more loving and compassionate and start to be a better version of myself. Hope that God will carry me when I don’t feel like I can keep going. Because that’s kind of what I feel like I need at the moment. I’m sure it will all fall into place soon, but for now, I just need to be carried.

When I graduated from college, I got a job working as an editor for a company that wrote online courses (mainly for technical things like routers, VoIP, etc.). It wasn’t hard work, and I liked it as much as you can like a basic, entry-level job. It gave me plenty of time to direct plays and do other things that I wanted to do. Right after I got married, the company had to downsize and laid off a bunch of workers…including me. I didn’t work for several months, and then they contacted me and asked if I’d come back in a different job. So I became a QA, a quality assurance specialist. I worked harder and started to find a niche where I actually felt needed and like I was contributing more than just the bare minimum.

During the time I had been laid off, an acquaintance contacted me and asked if I’d be interested in writing an email newsletter for a company that he was starting. The company would, in a nutshell, help students save money when they went to college. I said sure and worked for them for a few hours a month for several months. After some time had passed, they approached me and asked if I’d be willing to quit my QA job and come work for them for almost-full-time. I’d still have time for my drama club commitments, and I’d be able to work from home and have a flexible schedule. I was also offered a job at a different company at the same time, for more money and better benefits. But I felt like this part-time job was God’s provision for me, and although it didn’t make a lot of logical sense at the time, I decided to go ahead and do it.

We worked in the boss’s basement for those first few years. A few other employees came and went, but it was mostly the two partners who began the company and me. They had important strategic meetings on the deck upstairs, drinking lemonade, while I worked hard in the basement, creating logos and marketing materials, inputting data into a database, and working with a software developer to create proprietary software. I used to say that they started the company, but I did all the work. (Not true, of course…they made sales and made the company exist…I just did a lot of important backend things that no one saw.) Eventually they decided to move the company into a rented office in town. It was exciting to see the company growing and moving into an actual office, rather than a basement! I even got a desk to work at (rather than the card table I had been using). Over time, we expanded into an adjoining room and hired a few somewhat-full-time customer service representatives. I had a baby, and then another one, and they hired several different people (at different times) to replace me. I kept working there part time, though, because as nice as it is to be a stay-at-home-mom, it’s also nice to have a job and feel useful in other capacities.

Now that I’m having another baby, I’ve decided that it’s officially time to move on. I informed them that I’d be available for contract work, and I really do want to stay involved. I love the people at this company; they are like family. They threw me a surprise baby shower a few weeks ago, and I know they want me to text them when I go into labor. They really care about me, and I care about them. I don’t want to leave. But I have some other things that I think I want to pursue, and I need to spend time focusing on that in the (little) free time that I’m going to have after the baby is born.

This week we moved into a new office building. It’s brand new and beautiful. Custom-built to what we needed. And of course that has to happen right before I leave so I don’t get to spend time working there. But it’s been an amazing journey to see where this tiny company has come from to where they are now. So many small businesses fail, and this one has actually succeeded. I’ve learned so much about business and marketing, computers and graphic design, life and maturity from working there. It has been such a blessing to be part of a family like this one. One of the partners has gone through cancer and has been healed, and we’ve seen the hand of God working miraculously in many situations. I wouldn’t trade the time I’ve had there for anything.

When the other workers said goodnight to me today, I don’t think they were really thinking about it being the end of a journey for me. “Will we see you Tuesday?” they asked. And I don’t know. Maybe they will (if I don’t have a baby by then). Or maybe they won’t. I’ll definitely be back to say hello, show off my new baby, help out with various projects. I’m not finished with some work I still need to do. But I won’t be back regularly like I have been. It’s sort of a weird ending to a chapter in my life that I cherish. But I’m so thankful for the opportunity that I have had to work with these people. It may not have been the most logical decision to quit my full-time job and work for this company six years ago, but God knew how much I needed it. (And how much they needed me.) And I will be sad not to have it as a part of my life anymore.