Time for change

My friend Heather is starting to sell handmade purses, and this past weekend she finished the one she was making for Em. It’s SO cute, and it inspired me to order one, too. I’ve had my current purse for a long time now - in fact, Aud and I bought the same ones from NY&Co several years ago.

(Sometimes I consider it a feat that I carry a purse at all…I can remember a time when I insisted that I never would. The inner tomboy in me, I guess. But I succumbed, just like I succumbed to flared jeans, heh.)

At any rate. I’m not the kind of girl to have a different purse to match each outfit; in fact, my current purse is small and basically just utilitarian. As I was excitedly considering the joy of having a cute new purse, I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly I carry around with me.

Keys, wallet, lip gloss, lipstick, eyeliner, mascara, a pen, and a flash drive. Apparently it’s more of a makeup carrier than anything. ;) I think there’s a few stamps hiding in one of the pockets, too, but I forgot to get them out. And a quarter.

So that’s my purse. How about you…what’s in your purse (or wallet. or man-bag, as the case may be)? Do a post and let’s find out!

Growing up already

This is one daddy who LOVES his little girls! When I walked in and saw them all reading together after J’s bath last night, I was struck by how my baby girl JJ is growing up already! That’s not supposed to happen. She is three months old and SO close to rolling over. I think she’ll be doing that any day now. I also think she is teething…I know it’s early for that, but she is constantly drooling and jamming her entire fist in her mouth. It’s cute. :D I think I fall more in love with her every day.

Who will know?

It’s easy to do whatever you want when no one is watching.

I’m alone with my girls most days, and if I speak too sharply to J or try to make her do something just because I want her to, no one will know.

Except today. My mother and father-in-law were at my house doing some work on the deck, and I noticed Dad watching as I spoke to J about why we don’t throw food on the floor. I was just talking to her, but suddenly I was accountable. Someone could see whether I was frustrated or not.

I felt like wherever I went, there he was, watching.

It bothered me at first - did he disapprove of me? was I doing things wrong? what was he thinking? - but as time went on, I realized that I need to make sure that I am the same person if there is someone watching or if there is no one.

God is always watching the way I live my life, whether I want Him to see or not. The God I serve is not mean or looking to “get me in trouble,” but He can always see me.

Perhaps if I truly realized that, I wuld work harder to be above reproach. Be more consistent, not get angry, not be manipulative or deceptive when I think no one will know.

Who are you when no one is looking?

A taste of summer


I know it’s summer because it’s strawberry-picking time!

Happy Father’s Day

I’ve heard it said that a girl often marries a man like her father.

That may or may not be true; I don’t know. What I do know is that one of the things my husband has in common with my father is that they are both excellent daddies (especially to little girls). I respect them both so much, more than I could ever put into words. My dad has been an incredible model of what Jesus’ love looks like. He has always been willing to sacrifice for me, teach me difficult lessons because he knew they would bring maturity, and guide me lovingly through thick and thin.

Here are some of the memories of my dad that I cherish:
• When he pretended that he was the Count from Sesame Street while we brushed our teeth at night
• How he would read his Bible at breakfast every morning
• When I would pretend to be asleep on the way home from a car trip late at night so he would carry me into the house
• How he would ask us math questions at dinner when we were growing up and read books aloud every night afterward
• Being awakened in the middle of the night as a kid so he could take us outside to see a lunar eclipse, Northern Lights, comets, and more
• How gentle and kind he was after I got a “C” in math on my report card in junior high (I was mortified)
• Learning how to drive with him on the back roads of our small town
• Going on trips across the country as a family - driving, hiking, camping, etc.
• Visiting his office in college when I needed advice or a hug

Now that I am an adult and have children of my own, I notice the same sweet “daddy” spirit in my husband that I see in my father. Tom cares so much about our little girls and would do anything (and everything) to make sure they have everything they need. He loves hearing them laugh and would do just about anything to make them smile. He comes home from work every day to a two-year-old who thinks the world of him. She runs to his side of the bed every morning to say good morning to him first. She wants him when she gets hurt or sick, and he loves being there for her. He takes his job as daddy very seriously and strives to be the best father he can be, whether it’s providing for his kids, teaching them right and wrong, changing diapers, playing with Duplos, making them giggle, or taking a day off work to build them a swingset. He is committed to them and always puts them first.

I can only hope that my girls turn out loving their dad as much as I love mine. Happy Father’s Day! :)

A Moment in Time

I cried last night during dinner.

Nothing special was going on; I wasn’t hormonal or particularly emotional. Daddy wasn’t home; the girls and I were having dinner together. I just sat at the table, watching my two-year-old eating a piece of pizza, wondering where the time has gone.

My gaze shifted to my three-month-old, sitting in her bouncy seat next to the table. Wasn’t it just yesterday that J was sitting in that bouncy seat? Wasn’t it yesterday when I was nursing her, too? How could she be eating pizza already?

She looked at me, a quizzical expression on her innocent face. “Whassa matter, Mommy?” she asked through a mouthful of pizza.

I wanted to tell her all the things that were rushing through my mind — how before I knew it, she would be off to kindergarten, then high school, then college and her own life — but the words wouldn’t come. She wouldn’t understand anyway.

“I just don’t want you to grow up,” I finally said, wiping a tear from my cheek with her pizza-stained napkin. As if saying it aloud would make the time pass less quickly.

It will be like the blink of an eye and my baby will have babies of her own. Her sister, too. Is there anything I can do to hold onto these moments forever?

But time keeps marching on, and she gets older and more independent. JJ sleeps less and eats more, and soon she won’t need me anymore, either. All I can do is wrap her slender baby fingers around mine and hold tightly to J’s chubby ones, hoping that someday I will still remember what it feels like.

People often ask me if having kids is worth all the time and effort. And although it is hard work and the days sometimes pass slowly, the years fly by. And the precious moments are worth every single one of the difficult moments, because they are just that — moments.

A-camping we will go

I’ve been going camping for as long as I can remember.

We used to take family trips to the Adirondacks (even though it always rained), the yacht club, national parks, you name it. My parents say that they started taking us camping when we were about two. So it seems natural to me to take my family camping.

We went camping a few times last summer, and it was fun. We bought a new tent (an amazing deal on Amazon) that would fit all of us. We set up the pack and play, and J slept happily in it at night and naptime. Now that we have two kids, I figured we needed to get J her own sleeping bag so JJ could sleep in the pack and play this summer.

It arrived in the mail yesterday, so we had to try it out. (I love getting packages in the mail!)

She looks like she’ll have fun sleeping in it this summer, don’t you think? :D

Around the house

jlunchA few J-isms around our house lately:

• Praying at the dinner table: “Dear Jesus, thank you for pizza and ketchup. Amen.”

• JJ was talking/cooing at me, and J came over and said, “JJ say, ‘Mmmm. I want some breastmilk!’ ”

• “May I please have some pickles?” She just LOVES pickles, and we’re working on may-I-please. Apparently it’s catching on!

• “Mommy make grass!” after watching me plant some grass seed this weekend.

• She’s wearing big girl undies full-time now, including nighttime and naps. No accidents yet (except at church last night, but that was Daddy’s fault). Way to go, little one!

Time flies

JJ is twelve weeks old and will officially be three months this week. I can’t believe three months have gone by already!

It hasn’t always been an easy transition; in fact, the first couple months were pretty rough. But since we got her on reflux medicine, she’s been a completely different baby. I’ve also started getting more sleep and I’ve gotten used to having two little girls! :)

She weighs about 13 pounds, which is almost exactly what J weighed at three months. You’d never guess that they were the same, though…J had huge cheeks and was (is?) generally chubby all around. JJ, on the other hand, has a long and thin torso and doesn’t look chubby. I have a feeling that she takes after Tom, while J takes after me.

I love this little baby girl so much; I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her. She loves to smile, and I think I’m starting to get her to laugh when I sing/talk/rap to her, too. She’s a sweetheart, that’s for sure. :D She still has all her dark hair, which seems to be getting longer, but it’s lighter than it used to be.

Kids are so precious, even on the hard days or during the difficult moments. All they have to do is smile at you and everything is worth it. :D

A Quilt for JJ

My friend Gail made JJ a quilt! I tried to get a pic of her lying on it, but J wanted to join in on the fun. The other side is cool…it has a Noah’s Ark theme and is really cute. :) Thanks, Gail!!

(JJ is staring at the ceiling fan, her newest hobby.)